Is Your Male Friend Sabotaging Your Love Life?

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guy and girl laying on blanket listing to headphones
Is your friendship purely platonic, or is he holding you back?

Can men and women be just friends? If you ask any Hollywood film producer, the answer is a resounding "no." Hollywood's magic formula for success seems to take seemingly platonic friends and make them "suddenly realize" how in love they are. (See: When Harry Met Sally for proof.) But what about real life? Are platonic friendships between men and women ever truly just that?

Stories of truly platonic relationships do exist: Witness Jessica's story of platonic friendship:

My best friend for 10 or 11 years was a boy I met in 8th grade. I actually had a crush on him, but he had a crush on my best friend instead. We ended up sitting at lunch tables close to each other and then talking on the phone. By high school, we were close friends and he was one of the few people I could really talk with about stuff going on in my family: drug abuses, mental illness problems, stuff like that. His parents would actually let me spend the night at their house when things were going badly at my place. Weirdly, we became super-close friends when his family moved to the UK at the beginning of 11th grade. His dad got transferred for business. Writing letters long-distance to each other just really solidified our friendship and our ability to communicate really candidly with each other. He chose to go to college in the same city that I did, I chose to move to the same neighborhood he lived in post-college, and then he followed me to a new neighborhood. We were totally fixtures in each other's lives: helping each other move in and out of apartments, complaining about our jobs, getting advice on dating, soothing each other's broken hearts.  In a lot ways like a twin brother to me, more so than a best friend. He was really, really protective of me and I know he genuinely wanted only the best things in life for me.

We're not super-close anymore, which partly has to do with a dispute we're having but I also think has to do with me falling in love with my boyfriend and moving to a different state. It sucks, but I have also seen how I've become more of my own person without my fake "twin brother." I hope we're close again some day, though, because not having a really close platonic male friend anymore makes me miss the advantages of having one." The Frisky: Would You Be Cool With Your Significant Other Having A Best Friend Of The Opposite Sex?