This is a difficult situation faced by many adults in modern society. We become so focused on our career (or other activities) that we don’t leave ourselves time to form relationships. And this is especially prevalent now, when prospects for jobs are so slim that people who are gainfully employed are giving everything they’ve got just to avoid getting laid off. And then, of course, there is the de-personalization of relationships that has occurred in the last decade thanks to the advent of internet dating and the newfound ability to browse (and reject) thousands of potential candidates at the click of a mouse, without ever having to meet them face-to-face. The truth is, today’s fast-paced, short attention-span, instant gratification style of living leaves little time for interpersonal interaction. So if you’re one of the many people out there looking for love without a minute to spare, here are a few tips that could help you to make the connection you crave.
1. Slow down. Well, that seems pretty self-evident, doesn’t it? If you don’t have time for drinks with friends, phone calls home, or a get-to-know-you session with the hot guy (or girl) from the newsstand who keeps asking you out, then you are clearly spreading yourself too thin. And it’s no surprise, considering you’re probably keeping busy in order to stave off loneliness! Slow down, cut back, and take the leap.
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2. Learn to say no. If you’re so booked up that you can’t even arrange an hour for face-time over coffee, then you likely suffer from a common and inexplicable syndrome that affects the majority of our population: an inability to say no! It’s not always feasible to turn down work, but try to cut back on other commitments if you can. The best part of saying “no” is that you don’t even need an excuse! If you simply offer a flat-out “no” when people ask you for favors or participation, you’ll often find that others don’t know how to respond, and will actually accept without question.
3. Make time for yourself. You can’t possibly hope to make time for love if you don’t first see to yourself. Spread your wings a bit by penciling in a little R&R for yourself every week (join a class at the gym, spend a couple of hours getting pampered at the spa, or even sit down with a good book). Once you get comfortable taking time for yourself, it will be a lot easier to expand your efforts.
4. Shift your focus. The reason you’re unable to make a love connection is that you’re focused on other things. While your willingness to spend your life toiling away without reward is admirable (in a grotesque and self-defeating sort of way), you may find that you can have your cake and eat it too by simply shifting your focus to pursue other avenues of interest (namely, the love connection).
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5. Adopt a can-do attitude. In life, attitude is everything. If you think you can’t make time for love, guess what: you’ve just enacted a self-fulfilling prophecy. Setting up mental road-blocks is no way to start a new undertaking. So make an effort to believe that love is possible, that you can squeeze it into your busy schedule, and you will find that your willingness to change will make all the difference in turning your barren wasteland of loneliness into a lush garden of love.
Darcy Johansan is a writer for PUA Reviews where you can find great tips and advice on dating and the art of seduction.