Most of us can not resist the boy-meets-girl romantic fairy-tale setup.
We want that classic story to tell our future grandchildren about the magical moment we met their grandfather “our soul mate”. Some women fall in love with the fairy-tale in itself. We become curious of our surroundings not truly grasping the impact of the choices we make. Questions asked never receive a straight answer you get thrown in a maze of riddles. So, who really has time to understand the possibilities of failure when your at a tea party with the Mad Hatter eating cookies and cakes. Not realizing soon you will be falling down the rabbit hole to awaken from bliss into a beautiful nightmare.
In every old-fashioned fairy-tale there is a beginning that leads you into the journey. Mine started on a yellow school bus. Everyone knew each other already and I was the new girl. I remember one day this guy walked from the back of the bus and sat next to me. He had a nice smile and a cheery disposition. When he spoke I already knew in my gut why he was there. He introduced himself and asked me what was my name. He said one of his guy friends thought I was attractive and convinced him to do his dirty work. I turned around to the back and he pointed in his direction. I quickly turned back and said you knew before you asked I would say no. Then we both laughed and talked until his stop. After that he sat next to me everyday. This young man became my best friend. Now, I wonder if everything happens for a reason then our friendship was apart of my destiny or maybe God must have blinked.
Within a year, we were an item and he would always nag me about having to wait an entire year before he could date me officially. Becoming high school sweethearts didn’t come naturally to my surprise. Nothing changed between us expect we carried a different title. He walked me to my classes, we went to lunch together , we talked on the bus, and we stayed up all night talking or fell asleep on the phone then did it all over again. What we had was a simple routine. After six months, our relationship disintegrated from lack of quality time and rumors. It may have taken awhile but we both decided to remain friends.
Throughout my college years he popped in and out of my life. He moved back to Nashville, TN the summer before my senior year. Do to family issues he was homeless. So, I talked to my uncle and he agreed to rent him a room. I went over everyday to check on him and drove him to job interviews or anywhere he needed to go. Then it happened, he said he wanted to rekindle what we had. That wasn’t what scared me it was the fact he was ready to get married and have kids. I wasn’t ready for something so serious,
because I had no real life experience. I was very sheltered growing up and he was the wild child.
As a result, I told him I couldn’t be with him. I believed that I made the right choice by not rushing into an unstable earnest commitment, because I would never what to hurt someone I cared about by living a lie. The reminder of my senior year I missed him terribly everything reminded me of him, but we weren’t speaking. Until one afternoon,
I was on a three-way phone call with him and a mutual friend. He said he had big news then blurted out he was engaged with a baby on the way. I’d never thought I could feel the pain of being shot through the heart without it breaking my skin. I was bleeding internally so holding a conversation was out the window. At that moment, I knew any feelings or hopes of us being together in the future were over. Life on the other hand has a funny way of proving you wrong.
Less than a year later, he contacted me and to my disbelief I wasn’t angry.
There wasn’t any exchanges of questions passing through the channels of my brain.
I jumped in head first into a never ending pool of uncertainty. He said he was
separated from his fiancé and he needed to know how I felt about him once and for all. True romantics call this action a golden moment for the main characters to confess their harbored feelings thus beating the odds of a love lost. Well, I did just that I confessed my love for the first time, but I began to feel regretful for putting myself in such a vulnerable position after not hearing from him for weeks. Turns out after we got back in touch and talked about the possibility of him moving back to be with me. I saw a facebook posting of his saying he was engaged again. On his status was a wedding ceremony date a month away, location, and invitations for anyone interested in coming. If you recall what I said earlier about pain it doesn’t even scratch the surface of what I felt then. It’s clear my heart wasn’t the only deceiver it didn’t betray me alone. I lost a love interest and my best friend.
I’m not sure of all the life lessons that will come my way. I suppose the universe has a greater meaning of karmic ties and I will become a better human being because of it.
One thing I have learned from this situation is I don’t believe in fairy-tales.
No, I believe in love. Love isn’t a fantasy its real unlike fairy-tales it can easily be experienced when focused on the source it comes from. The light of love is inside of us all so please let it shine bright enough for the world to see.