Bachelor Pad: Down To 3 Couples (Yawn)

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elizabeth from bachelor pad on the beach in bikini
Three couples remain on the Bachelor Pad (boring), but we won't tell you who wins next week.

While Natalie and Dave were off breaking multiple traffic laws, the power couples sipped champagne with strawberries and gossiped, per usual.

Tenley then piped up and started marveling about how uh-may-zing it must feel be Natalie and Dave, with a guaranteed spot in the final three. Then the goofy-grinning Jesse B, in a rare moment of clarity, asked his competitors, “Well, how does it feel? You tell us?”

Implying that they too, were all safe, with he and Peyton obviously on the chopping block. Way to kill the mood, dude.

Back on the date—Natalie kept yapping on about how hard she's falling for Dave, when all Dave really wanted to do is drive the car, take pictures of the car and make out with the car.

But then Dave and Natalie had a heart-to-heart, talking about super romantic things like divorce, student loans and poor relationships with parents. Sexy. Dave continued to talk about how he murdered his father—oh wait, he just threw a chair threw a wall during an argument and they haven't spoken since. He then quickly downed a drink, got really moody and changed the subject. By the way, this scene went on forrrrrever. They redeemed themselves by making out in a hot tub, though. Whew!

Back at the house, Kip-Ten also made out in a hot tub and talked about superbly boring stuff. Uh oh, it's contagious!

With no one else in the house to berate or gossip about, Elizabeth and Kovacs snuck off to the fantasy suite to kill the viewers brain cells with their inane conversation.  Allow me to recap:

Kovacs: Do you wanna get naked? If you do, that's cool. Whatever.

Elizabeth: LOVE ME OR I WILL CUT YOU!!!

She seriously gets crazier with each passing day.

With the rose ceremony nearing, naturally the paranoia set in and the strategizing started. Natalie suddenly kinda sorta wanted to vote out Elizabeth and Kovacs, instead of Jesse B. and Peyton, because they know each other sooo well and will surely win any challenge relating to vapid pillow talk. So she went and planted a seed in Tenley's head about possibly voting them off. Thing is, they'd have to convince their men to do the same.

Then, out of the blue, Chris Harrison informs the gang that they would be voting solo, instead of as a couple as originally thought. So now there were 8 votes, instead of 4. Boo-ya! The scheming then commenced full throttle as Tenley and Natalie pinkie swore to vote off Elizabeth and Kovacs on their own. Take that, secret alliances!

Jesse B., then, has a man-to-man with Kiptyn, assuring him hell have he'll have his back next week, if he saves him this week. "Kiptyn America," yet again, has a crisis of conscience and doesn't know what to do. Could he really vote off his boy Kovacs in the most strategic move of his Bachelor Pad career?

Of course not. Kiptyn, naturally, wusses out and chooses Kovacs over Jesse B. Come hell or high water, nothing can break that Triplet bond! Natalie, too, caved last minute and voted with Dave, who lovingly threatened his girlie that she better not vote for Kovacs, or else she might, too, get a chair thrown through her window.

So Peyton and Jesse B. got sent home, leaving three couples to battle it out for the $250,000 grand prize. Dave, ever eloquently, summed it up nicely: “On that note, things just got real.”

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