The entire blogosphere knows about my sex life. But what will I tell my kids?
My naughty drawer is not what it once was. At the moment, it contains: a bullet vibrator; two smoothie vibrators; a baggie filled with review samples of 20 or so different types of personal lubricants; a bottle of my favorite scented massage oil; a vanilla sugar-scented massage candle; an I Rub My Duckie; a sleep mask I typically use only when I'm having trouble falling asleep; leather handcuffs; one gorgeous bit of lingerie; a bottle of BabeLube; the fertility-friendly lube I purchased for babymaking sex; and a shit-ton of batteries. I keep a wide-tipped riding crop behind the bed, and a healthy collection of sexy how-tos on a shelf. The Best Sex Toys for Couples
The collection was once more extensive. When I first became a sex writer—at the age of 22—I had a never-ending supply of condoms, a plethora of vibrators, a double-ended silicone dildo, edible body paint, sizzling body candy, vibrating nipple clamps, a massive porn collection, multiple erotica anthologies, and even a Sexerciseball. A small chest of drawers contained all of my condoms. A large trunk from Bed, Bath & Beyond contained everything else.
I remember when my parents came to help me pack up my stuff and move home from college. "What's in there?" my mom asked, making a move for the chest of drawers. I leapt across the room, screaming, "Nooooooooo!" like one of those slow motion movie scenes. Not exactly subtle.
I don't remember talking about the birds and the bees with my mom until it was too late. I was 19, and already in a relationship with someone six years older than me. My mom sat me down in our living room. I felt awkward and uncomfortable. "He's going to want to have sex," my mom said. "I don't want you doing anything until you've been to the gynecologist," she said, staring me down. I stared out the window and fiddled with the curtains. "I want you to get a prescription for birth control pills." I rolled my eyes. I wasn't ready for sex, and I told her so. Sex Talk With Mom?
But she was right. He wanted to have sex. And even though I wasn't ready, it happened.