Why do parents struggle with talking to kids openly and thoroughly about sex? Statistics would tell us that many believers were not virgins when we married, which presents a bit of a dilemma. How do we possibly explain the blessings of waiting until marriage to have sex if we ourselves didn't heed such warnings? My answer to that is to be honest. Share with your kids why you wish you would have waited. Your vulnerability and realness speaks much clearer than lofty platitudes. We Waited For Marriage
Is it embarrassing and awkward to talk to your kids about sex? Well, sure. But what is your goal? To stay in your comfort zone or to help your kids understand authentic sexual intimacy? One way to get past the awkwardness is to throw a bunch of light on it instead of pretend like it doesn't exist. It's okay to say, "I'm a little embarrassed talking about this, but I think it is important we talk about it anyway."
And please can we let go of the myth that kids just need a "one time" talk? When was the last time you were able to talk to your kids once about anything and have it stick? If kids are to understand what healthy sexual intimacy looks like—and the benefits of keeping it within the sacred covenant of marriage—then they need a lifetime of genuine and age-appropriate dialogue with adults they trust. Even then, there are no guarantees. But I would rather bank on the outcomes from lifelong authentic dialogue than from a "one time" sex talk.
God in His divine wisdom created sex, not just for procreation, but also for pleasure (lest we not forget that orgasm was part of His design... the clitoris serves no other purpose but sexual pleasure for a woman). The community of faith should really be a forerunner in teaching kids about sex. If more Christian parents would courageously begin lifelong dialogue with their children about healthy sexual intimacy, just think of the impact on society?
Sexual education. The debate rages on about what should and shouldn't be taught in schools. All the while, parents hold within their homes the opportunity to educate in a way that equips their kids to understand not only the consequences, but also the blessings of authentic sexual intimacy.
My 12-year-old rolls his eyes a bit when I initiate a discussion about sex. I'm not deterred though. I think one day he'll be a well-adjusted confident husband who understands the sacredness and gift of sex. And my future daughter-in-law will thank me. Sounds like a better vision than just leaving his sexual education up to the system or society, don't you think?