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How to immediately attract attention with your online photo.
By Diana Vilibert
Last updated on Dec 19, 2023
First impressions matter... and when it comes to online dating, your first impression is your profile picture, not your love of hiking and Mexican food. Check out our no-fail tips for choosing the best photo of yourself.
Here are 6 tips for an online dating photo he can't resist:
1. Look like yourself
Your online dating profile photo should look like you on a really good day... but it should still look like you! And make sure to get an honest friend to look over your selection: A study in the Journal of Communication found that while online daters rated their photos as relatively accurate, independent judges rated a third of the photographs as inaccurate. Your best bet? Step away from the webcam and use candid shots your friends have taken.
2. Like the current version of yourself
It's not enough to look like yourself from last year or from the time you had mono during college and fit in your skinny jeans. We're looking at you, ladies: The Journal of Communication also found that female photos were less accurate than male photos, and were more likely to be older, retouched, and to contain inconsistencies, including changes in hairstyle and skin quality.
Think about it this way: picture the guy you dated last. Now picture him with a mullet. Or a handlebar mustache. Or both, if you can handle it. Would you still have gone out with him if he was rocking those? If you have long brown hair in your photos, don't surprise someone with a blond pixie when you meet in person.
3. Keep makeup natural
When it comes to war paint, men prefer you all-natural.
40 percent of men polled say women wear too much makeup... and a third say they prefer none at all. Don't leave him guessing what your pout looks like underneath all that liner — keep it light with a tinted gloss that brings out your natural pucker. And resist the urge to channel Amy Winehouse with overbearing eye accouterments and stick to mascara and an eyelash curler to highlight your eyes.
4. Flirt with the camera
Ready to flash those pearly whites? Don't, says OKCupid. The dating site found that flirting directly into the camera is your best bet — women who took pictures making their best flirty faces got messaged more than women who smiled. But make sure you're making eye contact with the camera: smiling or flirting away from the camera rubbed guys the wrong way.
5. Show off your sense of style
Quick, take a look at your profile as it is now: are all of your photos of you glammed up for various evening occasions? Yes, you probably feel like you look your best in these shots, but unless you're planning to show up to your coffee date in your sorority Fall Ball gown, mix it up a little. Whether you're a jeans-and-tee kind of girl, or love the pinup look — or both — show it off in your photos.
6. But show off your curves, too
By all means, wear that harem romper... just don't wear it in your online profile photos. Guys can have a hard time wrapping their heads around some of our fashion choices, and we don't blame them—drop-crotch skinny jeans? Really? No need to bust out the bikini or skin-baring shots, but give the dude a general idea of your shape — whatever it is — by skipping the oversized tees and baggy boyfriend jeans in favor of something simple and form-fitting.
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Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, The New Yorker, Redbook, Paste Magazine, and Self.