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Jennifer Aniston’s Career Might Be Over

Jennifer Aniston

And her rumored boyfriend, John Mayer, doesn’t want to be associated with her. That’s got to hurt.

It’s safe to say that Jennifer Aniston’s public image has taken a beating in the press recently. After seeing previews of her newest film, The Switch, we couldn’t help but wonder, "Why do people keep letting this woman star in movies?"

While Jennifer was amusing as part of an ensemble cast on Friends, she’s a terrible movie actress, and the majority of the movies she’s made have been both commercial and critical failures. (Say what you want about man-stealer Angelina Jolie, but at least she has enough acting chops to deserve her movie star status, not to mention an Oscar win.)

Over on, ESPN analyst Bill Simmons has some choice things to say about the future of Jen’s career. Comparing her to retired sports stars like Karl Malone and Charles Barkley, Simmons claims that the only reason Jennifer even has a post-Friends career is because of the love triangle and subsequent tabloid drama that has kept her on magazine covers ever since Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie met on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith Who Is Jennifer Aniston Dating?

"People can’t get enough of this stuff. Us Weekly throws Aniston on its cover every few weeks — and if they can work Angelina into the split-cover, even better — just because Aniston resonates with women like no other celebrity. No matter how wealthy or famous or good-looking she is, the nuts and bolts of Aniston’s 'tragic' story could have happened to anyone: She lost her scummy husband to a seductive co-worker. Maybe it was the worst thing that ever happened to her personally, but professionally? Godsend. She became America’s adorable little victim for seven years until Bullock finally pushed her aside. People don’t read Us Weekly to see pictures of happily married couples. They read for drama. Tragedy. Betrayal. Acrimony. They read to see someone’s life spinning out of control, or to compare two people wearing the same dress, or to see someone taking out the garbage who’s 'just like us.'"

Simmons goes on to point out that Jennifer purposely gravitates towards guys that could never really work-out in the long run. (i.e. John Mayer.)

"Staying single, ending up with the wrong guys, pining for a baby but never having one … career move, career move, career move. Keeps her on magazine covers. Keeps people saying 'I feel bad for Aniston, Brangelina really screwed her over; her life’s never been the same.' Keeps a built-in publicity buzz for every crappy movie she promotes. Really, it’s genius," says Simmons. Jennifer Aniston, Single Girl Poster Child

Almost proving Simmons’ point, Jennifer is rumored to be back together with her much younger ex, John Mayer. But, not even he, a guy that made arguably racist remarks in a Playboy interview this year, wants to be publicly associated with her. After the Huffington Post published a story, titled "John Mayer & Jennifer Aniston BACK TOGETHER?," he took to his blog to tell the media website off.

"Huffington Post, this is reporting? How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe? This is equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading," he wrote.

"The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar."

You have to hand it to John; at least his outrage is funny. However, as the Huffington Post points out in their rebuttal, he never actually gets around to denying that they’re back together. Aniston & Mayer: Third Time's The Charm?

So is reuniting with John Mayer just a part of Jennifer’s long-term career plan? Bill Simmons seems to think so.

"Say she remarried in 2006 to one of those Rande Gerber-type rich guys who owns cool bars that are in hip hotels. And let’s say they had a kid in 2008. And another one this year. By 2010, would anyone care about Jennifer Aniston? NO!!!!!!!! Only if she was making good movies. Which, obviously, she doesn’t want to do," he explains, adding: "She knows it’s better for her career if she never gets that ring. She will continue dating co-stars, bad-boy musicians and people with lousy hair for the foreseeable future. You watch."

What do you think? Is Jennifer purposely milking her own real life drama, so that her career won’t fade into oblivion like her former Friends co-stars? (Where is Matt LeBlanc these days, anyway?) Or is she just a mediocre actress who is really unlucky in love? Either way, we don’t think we can bear to watch her in another bad movie. (Sorry, Jason Bateman.)


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