5) And the Japanese are pinkening their nipples. According to TheFasterTimes, Japanese women are frustrated by their brown nips. Like every one of the world's cultures, the Japanese are obsessed with youth—and youth, in their minds (like b-holes in Ali Wentworth's mind), means pink. If you're not into surgery, there are several "tickle your girls pink" kits. Enjoy the self-consciousness!
Note: Gum scarletting is not a real thing. I just didn't want to include freckles bleaching because without freckles I may disappear.
More from YourTango: 007 Signs He Doesn't Want A Relationship (Or He's A Spy)
Everyone knows that blondes have more fun. Everyone. There's no ifs, ands or buts about it. At least that's the impression I got from any and every decent 1980s rock video.
Despite the ethnically-ambiguous look being totes hot right now (think Jeter or Emmanuelle Chriqui), some ladies still really wish they could all be California girls. Turns out they're using some super FUN techniques to get there (one of these, by the way, is not real—can you guess?):
1) Eyebrow bleaching is back! According to BellaSugar, the fashion world is reinstating the barely-there brow. And while the only person sporting a shaved brow will still be the passed-out dude on the party couch, most likely those arriving fashionably late will be rocking the bleached out eyebrow look this season. We hear it makes the area around a gal's eye a blank canvas for dramatic makeup. Here's hoping the glam look is back… I Am Obsessed With Women's Eyebrows
2) Anal bleaching is something some people do! The always-hilarious Ali Wentworth has a piece for Marie Claire about the process of turning your brown eye pink. The porn industry, a plethora of prison jokes or both have removed most of the taboo around "carnal posterior affection" (AKA anal sex). So, some women feel a little ashamed of having a less-than-pristine back porch. There are do-it-yourself kits. We heard even Courtney Cox is a fan.
More from YourTango: 8 Signs He May Have An Asian Fetish
3) Gum scarletting will light up your smile. Red lipstick is a winner because men are reminded of a certain bit of below-the-belt business. Nowadays, ladies are getting a laser treatment to tint their gums and tongue a slightly deeper shade of red. Some women are using dyes to mimic the process. Check out ScarletSmile for more.