Dear Dr. Romance:
I have met a new guy and I am very interested. He's a vetrinarian. I
first talked to him on the phone about my ailing horse. The attraction
was there even before I met him. When he came to check on my horse the
spark was there and it seemed that it was the same on his end. He came
back out another time and the attraction once again seemed to be there
also on his part. I asked him to a party I was having and he said he
would let me know. He called and said that he had a family member that
was dying and had to go out of town, but he seemed genuinely
disappointed that he couldn't come.
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When he came back to check on my horse he said he had really
worried about me when he had left the night my horse was sick. He seems
interested but is very hard to read. Should I send a thank you card
with a note telling him I would like to get to know him better and
suggest meeting for coffee? If he does not call after that then I guess
I was reading something into it that was not there. Or is there another
way to get his attention? Almost everything I have read tells me that
the guy wants a challenge and if I make the first
move then I appear needy.
am not needy but I am very picky and I really haven't felt a connection
with anyone that I feel with him in a very long time but I don't want
to freak him out if there is an interest there on his part or lose him
as my vet as he is a really good vet.
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I think a thank you note with an invitation is a great idea.
There's no way to know what his mixed messages mean until you test it.
Asking him for coffee is not too confrontational and shouldn't cost you
the vetrinarian relationship if he's not actually interested. He may be
being cautious because you are a customer,too. My article "Asking for What You Want" will help you understand gender differences in
communication. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again includes guidelines for transitioning to dating from a business acquaintance.