I used to work retail and "fitting room" was my favorite shift. While my other coworkers dreaded it, I thought it was friggin' hilarious. Let me tell you, what people say when they're in their underpants trying to squeeze into something is comedy gold! As a grownup fat kid, I've always struggled with my body issues, from my back titties to my general spherical nature. Nowhere was I ever able to laugh at myself more than in that dressing room, where I'd hear hot women of all shapes and sizes completely rip on themselves... instead of blaming, oh, the cut or the designer. It was ridiculous! And the best part was, the woman who picked the most ill-fitting clothing always bought the most. Self-acceptance is a cosmic joke. So, let's laugh together with these completely true, yet hilarious, things women are insecure about when it comes to their bodies.
1. Am I really as fat as this picture makes me look?
2. Does the concealer hide the zit or does it just make it more obvious?
3. Is my booty bootylicious?
4. Does my vag smell and/or look weird? The Frisky: I Went To Brazil And I'm Never Coming Back
6. Do I look good for my age? Or am I the Lindsay Lohan of my generation?
7. Are my tits perky?
8. Sheesh, I’m a sweaty bitch!
9. Do people think I'm fat?
10. Does my nose qualify as a "honker"?
11. With all the things I have to shave and wax, I must be Chewbacca's long lost cousin. The Frisky: My First Bikini Wax
12. Is my gun show too flabby to go sleeveless? When will the sleeveless bridal dress trend end?!