Can A Non-Believer Date A Practicing Christian?


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What happens when an agnostic falls in love with a Christian?

"Well," I started, trying to sound completely unaffected by this news, "then I need you to really think about it. Because if it is going to be a problem, I need to end this now. It seems stupid to continue only to get to a place six months or a year down the road where we find ourselves at fundamental odds over something we both knew was an issue from the start." You, Me And God: Interfaith Relationships

TD paused. "That is very pragmatic of you. I'll take that into consideration." Then he kissed me, and I knew he wasn't going anywhere.


When I called my best friend the next day to tell her what happened, she was shocked. I thought at first it was because of the details of the conversation (who asks a guy if he wants to have kids within the first month of dating?), but it wasn't. What shocked her was his faith. She wasn't the only one to have that reaction.

As I found myself excitedly listing TD's exceptional boyfriend qualifications (smart, funny, kind, articulate, Ivy-educated) to friends and family, I simultaneously found myself explaining that he was "also Christian." I tacked this last part on as quickly and sheepishly as I would have had he accidentally killed his parents while playing with matches as a child. More often than not, I had to defend or explain away his Christianity to the people who knew and loved me best. "Has he tried to 'turn' you yet?" asked a friend from college (whose father, interestingly enough, was a preacher) during a long drive to my hometown. "No!" I said, exasperated. "He hasn't tried to 'turn' me. He's a Christian, not a vampire!"

After months of dating, he hadn't tried to "turn" me and I was getting to a point where that felt weirder than if he had. We spent our weekends together until about 5 p.m. on Sunday night, when we would part ways and I would be left to eat alone in my apartment. When we met up again later that night, it was as though I had missed out on a huge part of his day in those few hours—and missed out on a huge part of him as a result.

Finally, one night, he asked me to go to church with him. Trying not to betray my nervousness, I agreed. What would I find out? What would happen? What would I wear?

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