Can A Non-Believer Date A Practicing Christian?


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What happens when an agnostic falls in love with a Christian?

For our second date, we opted for a movie followed by dinner. It was just after the entrees arrived that TD mentioned casually that he was a Christian and attended a church near my neighborhood in Brooklyn. "Oh," I said stupidly, munching on a French fry, not sure what the correct response was. "So you mean you're a Christian as in 'practicing' or like 'my parents took me to church every Sunday when I was young'?"

"No," he said in his characteristically calm, confident manner. "As in practicing. As in, I go every Sunday." 11 Reasons To Date A Church-Going Guy


"Oh!" I said again, trying to sound cheery instead of surprised. "That's… that's great."

I had known exactly two other Christians during the course of my life. In my own upbringing, spirituality meant time in a community basement learning Transcendental Meditation or practicing sun salutations with my father. I grew up thinking Christianity was something for "the other people"—red staters, conservatives, people who owned guns. If you did grow up in the Church, it was something you cast off as you became educated and matured. But here, sitting at the table across from me, was someone who was both of these things and still avowed his faith.

A month later we found ourselves at my apartment, late on a work night, having the kind of conversation that can only be fueled by early-relationship electricity. As he lay next to me on the couch, sleepy from too much wine, I fired off questions:

Question: Do you want to get married?

Question: Do you want kids?

Question: Do you want to stay in New York?

Question: How do you feel about raising kids in the city?

On all the big stuff, we agreed. And then, seduced by the hour and the darkness and the invincible feeling of compatibility, I blurted out the one thing that had been on my mind since that second date.

Question: Is the fact that I'm not a Christian going to be a problem?

Answer: Potentially.

The energy was suddenly sucked out of the room. I let go of his hand, sat up and shut my eyes tight, willing myself to handle this like the adult I was trying so hard to be.

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