So Hooked surprised me the other day when he went back to being Mr. Hot and Cold, or more precisely Cold. I was stumped until I looked back and examined the evidence. I was slipping back into being nice and predictable. Why, because I'm not used to being the bitch. The nice girl felt bad that he got all wigged out when I ignored him. In fact one friend said you are kind of torturing him. So to make amends, I invited him to a couple of things. And that was my mistake right there. I was being too available, again. He said yes to one invite, but the other he blew off. And when we did meet up he seemed bored.
What the hell happened? One minute he was desperate for my attention, the next he looked ready for a nap he was so bored. He said he was tired, but wouldn't he be pumped that he was back in the game. Or was he? No. Why? Because I put the deer on his doorstep. I short circuited the hunt. What I should have done was let him figure out how to win back my affections, instead I handed them over willingly. All I did was invite him to hang out, and that's just it. It wasn't his idea. His strategy. It's like the video game they spend hours on because they have to get pass level 9. Not all guys are like this. They will happily take the cheat code and skip level 9, while others would surely die first.
Upon further inspection, the only times Hot and Cold raised the stakes is when I went into bitch mode. Remember not evil, just not accommodating. Saying no on occasion. Calling him out or challenging him versus always being agreeable. Having a voice was exciting for him. Just the other day I called him out on something and politely put him in his place. It was like moth to a flame. He moved closer to me and I was like, whoa, you're invading my dance space. And it wasn't that I was doing this on purpose. That is so obvious. I just finally decided that my opinion matters. If he doesn't like it, tough. If you look at it another way, I am setting a standard. To respect that we won't always agree, and as it turns out, he does.
Again I don't know if all guys are like this, but this guy does not want me to make it easy for him or tell him what comes next. Or for that matter how to fall in love. Goes back to something every girl should accept (and it's not easy but you have to) you can't change a man, he has to change for himself. Believe me. I tried all kinds of things to convince Hot and Cold we would be perfect together, but who wants to be convinced. That's no fun at all. In fact it's expectations. I'm expecting him to love me just because. When you think about it, doesn't sound very romantic does it?
So, I'm sticking to my guns and putting the nice girl out to pasture. And you know what, I'm kind of glad he doesn't want me to be nice. So many guys take advantage of a pushover. Another problem with being too nice, he doesn't get to win you back and be the hero. Isn't it better that he invites me out instead of me making all the plans. And if he never does, well, at the least he's taught me a valuable lesson, stop handing out cheat codes, let him figure it out. Figure me out.