I know that we can all kid ourselves. I heard a friend say that he was not really driving fast; it was just that his new car felt lighter. To this day, I have no idea what that means. I have another friend who said that she didn’t get lost on the way to someone’s home. She just didn’t end up where she was supposed to end up. I even had a boyfriend say that the spare tire around his waist wasn’t “fat”; it was skin that had fallen due to age and gravity (he was all of 32 years old).
So, trust me when I tell you that I understand delusions. In fact, I’m positive that I’m a tall buxom blond. However, I’d never put that delusion onto my dating profile. When you fill out the questions on an online dating site, that’s the time to come clean with yourself and about yourself – especially when it comes to your weight. Weight matters to a lot of people, just as age and height do. So be honest with yourself and others. Besides, weight is not a character flaw so there’s no reason to feel sheepish about it.
I once worked with a man who was obese. He loved fine wine, gourmet fare, imported cheese, aperitifs, and a daily dose of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos (who doesn’t slum it sometimes!)
One day he decided to lose weight. He dieted. He exercised. He showed discipline. He set a goal and stuck with it. In the end, he made it. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stand all the restrictions. He loved his indulgences and missed them. He went from being happily obese to miserably slim. So he changed his life again and went back to the old one without apology. It suited him and he was content.
I also have a close friend who’s obese. She’s no Oprah. She doesn’t spend her life on yoyo diets. However, she exercises, eats well, and rarely overindulges. Yet she’s a big big girl.
My point is whether your weight is a choice or not, one thing is sure – there’s no shame in it. So make no excuses for it. Also, don’t delude yourself into thinking that listing your body type as slim or athletic is a small detail that’ll go unnoticed.
If you’re online dating and think your weight is a setback then do something about it. If you can’t do anything about it, then move on and celebrate attributes in yourself that are attractive. Everyone has them. If you’re not sure, then fill out my personality quiz. You’ll be surprised at how many fun, quirky and unique traits you have. Weave them into your profile (read the samples for help) and present them in a way that overshadows any issues you, or anyone else, would have with size – or let me, you won’t find a better tall, blond buxom ad writer on the planet!
For more tips on online dating and profile writing, read the samples and fill out the free personality quiz at http://trysweettalk.com