Dear Dr. Romance:
I have a question. I am separated for three years and seems like will be getting a divorce in 3 to 4 months.
I have a 3 year old kid and my delivery involved 4th degree tear with perineal tear.
My face and figure is still beautiful but now I have stretch marks on hips breast and I have this
low-esteem as I have bit of urine leakage now and then as an after affect of 4th degree tear . Also
my vagina looks weird and feels loose.
I do not feel confident about new relationship. I feel insecure and feel like no one will love me. I
do not feel like having sex.
In short I am deliberately not looking for new relationship as do not want to get hurt. Any suggestions?
You are not a kid any more, so you need to look for a more grown-up relationship. You need someone who will be a good match for a grown woman with a child. Start by making adult friends. Join groups of parents with children, or join a community organization. There you'll make friends who care about you, not because you're beautiful, but because you're a caring human being. Before long, someone will stand out as special, and also think you are special. You will already know something about this person, from being around him for a while at the group, so it will be easier to establish a connection. For more help, read my article "Where is love" My book, The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty will also be helpful.
Your vaginal problems may be correctible with surgery. Please ask your doctor.
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