Community: Stop Being Nice, Get A Man

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woman grabbing man's tie

And maybe that's the point. Guys are hunters. They don't want the dear dropped on their doorstep. They want to hide in the weeds and line up the perfect shot so they can proudly display their prize on the wall so saying we should be together because it makes sense was not the way to go. Sure, maybe it was the truth, but it wasn't his idea. He may have been thinking it, but I said it. Of course, his hot and cold behavior put me in that position, but it doesn't change the fact that men want to win you over. I have learned that it's not so much you play hard to forget, you just don't forget who you are. It's why a guy starts chasing us in the first place. That air of confidence that we are perfectly content on our own. Not in, I can by my own house and car, but instead you do not dictate my happiness. I do. 4 Guys To Rid From Your Dating Diet

When I told my brother about my guy being hot and cold, he told me what you do is treat him like crap one minute and then are sweet the next. Like, I really love that shirt, but those jeans do nothing for you. Do you get it? I didn't. What he meant was if you are not a pushover, he'll respect you and not take you for granted. You also have to know when to say no. Be available on your terms. Don't cancel your plans to make him happy. If he schedules you last minute, thank him for the invite but decline and tell him to give you more of a heads up next time. You're setting the standard for him to respect that your time is valuable. This is even true in a relationship. Being less available from time to time keeps things from getting predictable and might just raise the stakes. Hot-and-Cold is now Hooked and chomping at the bit. Now I can sit back and see what happens next, but without expectation because I don't need him to be happy anymore. 9 Traits Of Irresistible Women

See—this is not about winning him over. This is about finally realizing that I am the prize. Worthy of the best love has to offer. That's the best part of all of this. I finally get that. Which is another reason I am not putting all my hopes and dreams in one basket. I am giving Hooked a second chance because I want to, but until he steps up, I am free to move on if someone else beats him to the punch. I won't pass at a chance at love.

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