Bristol Palin will not marry wandering babydaddy Levi Johnston. We think.
Last week we told you that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston's second engagement might be on the rocks because Levi allegedly knocked up an ex-girlfriend, and now E! has confirmed (or "confirmed") that the camouflage-adorned wedding of Bristol's girlish dreams is off. Again. But Lanesia Garcia's pregnancy is reportedly not the reason. Lanesia has denied that Levi was the one who impregnated her—it's reportedly another Levi ex, Briana Plum, who's come between Wasilla's star-crossed teen parents. Look, we thought the whole point of Alaska was that there were like ten guys for every girl. Is that not true?! Bristol Palin & Conservative Teen Sex
E!'s source says that Lanesia insists a different ex-boyfriend is the father of her baby. "Lanesia and Levi have dated off and on over the past few years but he's not the father of that baby," the source told E! News. (We hope there is no significance to the source specifying "that baby.") "Lanesia's other ex-boyfriend is the father. She's not the reason [Bristol and Levi] broke it off." Levi's blog-happy sister, Mercede, also took to her pulpit to deny that Levi would be making her an aunt again. It's a bit of a teal deer, but suffice to say Mercede hates Bristol like SO MUCH and Levi is not the father. Which means we're out a Maury episode. Ugh. This is so unfair, you guys. Levi Johnston Explains "Bristol" Tattoo
The source goes on to tell E! News that the reason Bristol + Levi 4EVA is off again is because Bristol saw a Facebook photo of Levi and Briana Plum, who sounds like she escaped from a game of Clue. "There was an interview with [Briana] and Bristol wasn't happy about some of the things said," the source said. "There was also some picture on Facebook of him and Briana and Bristol just said, 'Let's hold off on the engagement.'"
Which is maybe something she should have said before that Us Weekly cover...but who are we kidding, that's the cash for Tripp's tiny custom My First Huntin' Rifle right there. So in the great soap opera that is the teenage Wasilla social set, we're now at the point where everyone is in their corners, gestating and sulking and sending accusatory text messages, and now we must wait for something else interesting to happen. Maybe a polar bear will show up and eat everyone.
Via E! Online. Photo via Bauer-Griffin.