I scrutinize prospective men looking for similarities between them and my ex-men because I don’t want to repeat the same thing. However, does the expectation that itwill be the same thing, thencreate the same thing? If you always do what you’ve always done then you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten? Or do I ignore the similarities and focus on the differences…then drive smack dab into the same pothole that busted my tire the last time? Closing my eyes to something doesn’t eliminate its existence.
So…I look for similarities, but that’s not fair. I look for differences, but am I being delusional?
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For all the “learning lessons”, in a new relationship, can you make up for mistakes made in a past relationship? I hear people say things all the time: “I spent too much money on the last girl. I’m not buying this girl anything.”; “I slept with him too fast. I’m not having sex again until I’m married.”; “I let her move in with me. I’m not letting another woman move in with me.”; “He met my mom and now he won’t leave my family alone. I’m not introducing any more guys to my family.” It doesn’t seem right, but no one wants to make the same mistake twice…especially since we’re all supposed to be “learning lessons”.
Maybe the only lesson in life that we cannot learn is one from a relationship because every relationship is different and every person deserves his or her own chance independent of the past (both their own and the new person they’re in a relationship with).
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Or maybe I still believe that because I haven’t learned my lesson…