Still…it's an interesting thing to see a man I used to be in love with and, at one point, was completely convinced I was going to marry, now loving someone else and marrying her. I feel like a grownup! The only time I've experienced this is when I lived my life vicariously through a Sex and the City episode when Big tells Carrie in a restaurant that he is engaged. Thankfully, this is not like a Carrie and Big situation because Authentic never took me on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I knew what it was when it was and I knew it ended when it ended.
It's weird though because I feel like I should be sad. I feel like I should be mourning the loss of my love. Isn't that what women do when their first love marries someone else? Shouldn't I be sad? Shouldn't my eyes be misting over? Shouldn't I let a few tears fall on my keyboard? Shouldn't I be picking his fiancee apart making myself both unspeakably bitter and irrationally vain in the process? Shouldn't I be devastated he is committing his life to someone else? 15 Signs You've Moved On From An Ex
More from YourTango: Cheating Wives Get Real: 15 Women Reveal Why They Had Affairs
Oddly, I am none of those things.
Instead, I’m just weirded out.
More from YourTango: See The Incredible Things 'CLASP' Is Doing For LGBT Refugees
I'm hopeful that one day I will be in love again with someone who loves me….authentically.