Embracing My (Real) Jersey Shore Love Life

It was around this time that I went to a party where I encountered a guy I used to date back in high school. History has its pull, and I instantly became smitten. Still concerned about my chronically poor choice in men, I reasoned that this guy, who shared my Jersey accent and propensity for dirty jokes, was nothing like my ex. We had so much fun together doing ordinary things that it wasn't long before I started wondering if he could be lucky Number Three. But, alas, it wasn't meant to be. The problem this time was that he was too much like me. We started butting heads about stupid things, and before the relationship ended, we'd spent months moodily curled up on his couch, our formerly colorful selves blending into one weight-gaining blob of gray. Nonetheless, I considered it progress that, for the first time, I was attracted not to someone who wasn't my polar opposite, but rather Number Two's. Hooray! 12 Simple Tips For Relationship Bliss

So now I'm dating again. I learned enough from those last two relationships to realize that I enjoy someone similar to me—because I do like myself—but not so much of a replica that my own considerable flaws are greatly multiplied. I'm also open to people from different backgrounds, so long as we relate to and appreciate each other. I no longer seek opposites to fill in my perceived gaps because I don't look at myself as lacking anymore. Key To Finding A Good Man? Self-Respect

I have a photo of myself from when I was dating Number Two. I'm perched on the edge of a plush limousine seat in a little black dress, holding a glass of brandy. This, in itself, is not such a bad thing. However, the stiff, red-lipsticked smile reminds me of the discomfort I felt trying to feel natural. My real progress is knowing that if I ever have such an opportunity again, I'll be confident enough to appreciate the experience… and comfortable enough with myself to also appreciate the irony.

The thing is, no matter where you're from—whether it's a small town nobody's ever heard of, like mine, or the storied Jersey shore—eventually you just try to take the best of what you were raised with, lose the rest, and grow up.

photo: MTV.com