If you've been watching MTV's Jersey Shore, maybe you can understand how a reasonably intelligent Italian-American woman from New Jersey, who lives within miles of the shooting location, might want to pretend to be someone else for a while. The fear of being lumped with characters like Snooki, whose "ultimate goal is to move to Jersey and find a nice juiced, hot, tan guy," is a great motivator for change. Jersey Shore Snooki's Guidette Breakup Advice
The last thing I want is a juiced hot guy, but even before Jersey Shore came out, I tried to separate myself from my surroundings—at least in terms of whom I date. For years, I was attracted to men who were my polar opposites, which made me think, if I'm not drawn to people like me, do I like myself? I wanted to think I was open-minded, but maybe losing my own identity was the reason my relationships failed.
I've had two unsuccessful marriages. Number Two was the one who really taught me something. All his T-shirts sported university insignia. Mine, worn only as nightshirts, touted Goldschläger, White Horse Tavern and Harley-Davidson. His female peers were blonde cuties who looked good in baseball caps with their pert pony tails pulled through the back. "Pert" was the antihesis of my look: I wore black tank tops, skinny jeans, and boots in winter, as little as I could get away with in summer, and let my long, brown hair do what it wanted and called it "beachy."
Once, Number Two cajoled me into wearing a red baseball cap and one of his college sweatshirts (completely baggy on me) to brunch. He said I looked hot, but without my tight, sexy clothes I felt like a schlump.