I'm In Love With A Friend. Now What?

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Here are 6 questions to ask before telling a friend you're in love with him.

3. How do I know I'm not being envious and just want something I can't have? We all know how it goes, wanting the things we can't have. Often they're material like that Marc Jacobs bag you've been eyeing or a fancy new apartment you'll never afford waiting tables at a burger joint. Whatever it is, it's unobtainable and that's what makes it attractive. This goes for people, too. It's natural to be jealous of a close friend's new companion; the good news is that it subsides. Take a minute and evaluate your feelings. See where things go. If you find that it's jealousy, then hold off on acting on it. We promise it will get better. How To Control Jealousy

4. Is there a real attraction? Misinterpreting signals is very common. Often we fall in love based on what we think is going on when, in reality, we could be wrong. Our friends at The Frisky wrote a great post on false flirting that lends some much-needed perspective.

5. How serious is this other relationship? It's tricky when there is a third party. It depends how far along the relationship is, whether it's a week or 9 months. The more serious it is, the harder it will be on your friend. He might feel you're being unfair and, although not intentionally, you're pressuring him to choose. You not only have to do what's best for you, but for everyone else involved, as well.

6. Are the qualities of the friendship the ones you want in a relationship? You might be saying, "Of course they are! Why else would I be in love with them?" This may be, but friend and boyfriend etiquette don't fall on the same page. Looking back on past conversations, maybe you notice that you were always the one to initiate them. Or there were a few times you planned to catch a movie, but your friend canceled on you when something better came up. The things that blow over in a friendship aren't the same things that blow over in a relationship. Make sure that this is who you want, the good and the bad, before saying "I love you." Should A Boyfriend Double As A Best Friend?

Readers, have you fallen in love with a friend? Tell us how you handled it. 

 

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