Time to Have the Talk

Time to Have the Talk

Time to Have the Talk

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If you’ve been seeing each other seriously for a long time, have the talk.  If you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, you must have the talk – the gender roles talk.


Did you grow up as a fixture in a Leave it to Beaver rerun or did you hear Free to Be You and Me over and over and over?  What if you fit the first description and your partner fits the second?


This scenario could lead to communication cross-talk, and no couple needs that! 


Each of us comes into a relationship with our entire past, including experiences, norms, assumptions and rules that can differ tremendously, even between people that have lives that, on the surface, seem quite similar. 


If he’s not taking out the trash, it could be that he didn’t know that you assumed it was “his job”.  Any automatic assumptions of laziness or uncaring are, at this point, completely unfounded.  If she doesn’t have dinner on the table at six o’clock sharp, it could be because she grew up and a perfectly decent home – one where there was no particular person appointed to restaurant duty. 


Both of the situations described above are marvelous opportunities for communication.  Of course, both sides need to feel happy, loved and cared about and it is up to the two of you to work this out.  Harboring resentful feelings will only help those destructive emotions grow.


Assumptions are dangerous in any relationship, be it a working, neighborly or a loving relationship – all the more so when you’re living together.  The day-to-day issues that can build up when one feels his/her needs aren’t being met, that his/her emotions are being ignored or, even worse, if she/he feels taken advantage of are highly destructive.


So please, sit down, pen and paper in hand if necessary, and invest in your future collective happiness.  What you decide is up to the two of you and all’s fair so long as you both come out smiling.


 


To Greater Intimacy,


Rachel Moheban, LCSW


Rachel Moheban currently has a private practice in New York City and specializes in individual and couples therapy, and is the founder of TheREPLACE Relationship Suite. She has her Masters Degree in Social Work from New York University and was trained at the Ackerman Institute for the Family and at the Training Institute for Mental Health in marital and group counseling.


In addition to regular therapeutic practices, Moheban believes that couples benefit even more from using a variety of resources including the effective combination of psycho-education, relationship coaching and counseling, pro-active skills and adaptable techniques. These approaches combined are able to create the success formula needed to make fast and immediate changes in relationships. Using this formula, Moheban designed and created The Ultimate Relationship Resolution Program.”


 


© 2010 The Relationship Suite. Rachel Moheban, LCSW After many years of providing private couples counseling, she discovered in addition to the already great results this method was providing, that couples benefited even more from using a variety of resources especially the effective combination of psycho-education, pro-active skills and adaptable techniques. These approaches COMBINED are able to create the success formula needed to make fast and immediate changes in relationships. This is why she designed and developed a couples program using the full ins and outs of this intricate formula; "The Ultimate Relationship Resolution Program."  This article is for your general information only. You are welcome to share this tip with your community but please make sure to include the following author info:


© 2010 The Relationship Suite. Rachel Moheban, LCSW After many years of providing private couples counseling, I discovered in addition to the already great results this method was providing, that couples benefited even more from using a variety of resources especially the effective combination of psycho-education, pro-active skills and adaptable techniques. These approaches COMBINED are able to create the success formula needed to make fast and immediate changes in relationships. To learn more, and receive our FREE BiWeekly Relationship Tips and access to the Relationship Breakthrough Monthly Teleclass visit http://www.therelationshipsuite.com.


 



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