6. Dinner. One of the reasons you were thrilled to venture into a relationship with us is that we were completely willing to subvert the master-and-servant relationship paradigm. In other words, you don't have to cook for us every night. Nor do you have to pretend to like our bow-tie pasta with Ragu specialty—but a middle ground where you occasionally whip us up our favorite bolognese after an incredibly trying day is like the reverse of us taking you shoe shopping.
7. A sense of humor. Every guy in America has this phrase on his personals profile under the "What I'm looking for" category. Should you dismiss it because, well, you thought The Hangover is funny? No, because what "A sense of humor" really translates to is "Are you relaxed, in the moment, and bantering with me?" If the answer is "often not," we're going to think you're distracted and probably wondering how to extricate yourself from this tedious relationship.
8. A listener. We hear you when you say that men don't open up unless their compadres Jack Daniel's and Jim Beam help them out. When you sense we have just received some upsetting news (which could be everything from a humiliating day at work to Lebron James signing with the Cavs), make it clear you'll listen, but then drop it immediately. We'll come to you with the answers when we're ready to deal with bringing it all up again, which may be never if it turned out to be no biggie.
9. Matrimony. It may not necessarily be the matrimony of your girlhood dreams, but we do want to form a more perfect union with you—permanently. We may be hesitating because we worry that we're making the right choice, that we are meant to be together forever, rather than just proposing to you because we've been together for a couple of years. Maybe we need more time to settle in, but it's not because we are still thinking about other women. We care about you, and that's why we're carefully weighing this decision. Why Do Men Get Married?
10. An end to game-playing. This is a sort of bookend to the moratorium on drama. Everything thinks it's cute to toy with the boys when you're starting out, calling them back days later and seeming disinterested. In the end, this only has two possible outcomes—we will be put off by your lack of interest and go with a stronger choice or we will pursue you for so long you'll assume we're in a relationship, except we're still figuring out whether all that bird-dogging was worth catching the chick.
A fairly simple list, right? Tell us any secret male desires we may have missed.
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