If I have to do so, I'll support him now. When we have an expensive, money-sucking baby and I stay at home, he will support us. Given the field he works in, it's almost certain he'll be able to do that. I don't really understand why saying I want my future husband to provide the financial support to me and our kids (especially when they are young) is so controversial. Planning parenthood is just responsible. As far as I'm concerned, the only controversial part of it was that I said it out loud. But why is being honest about one's finances and one's goals—so long as they are mutually decided upon, as ours are—so precious that we can't talk about it? I'm afraid that the "gold-digger" stereotype is just getting thrown around. To be sure, gold-diggers exist (Anna Nicole Smith, etc.) but "gold-digger," "meal ticket" and "marrying up" are also used as a sexist slur when we don't like something a woman is saying.
I'm not really sure what has happened with feminism—or not happened, as the case may be—that makes some ideas so sacrosanct and so precious we can't discuss them. I thought feminism was about women and men choosing what we want for our own lives, our own relationships and our own families. I don't expect everyone to agree with my and my boyfriend's choice to financially plan for our future family. But maybe in a few years, when we're proud parents, I won't care anymore. The Frisky: Secrets To A Long Happy Marriage
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