3. You're comparing him to lovers past. This goes beyond simple paranoia. It's more subtle and insidious. If you see him smile in a certain way—or utter a certain phrase—and you immediately think of your abusive ex-boyfriend, or that immature idiot you rebounded with, or that unfortunate one-night stand, you're letting your past drag you unnecessarily down. Do you consistently find yourself souring on new dating prospects simply because of unfortunate similarities? It's important to remind yourself that he is not your ex. Try thinking, instead, of all the amazing qualities he has that your ex most certainly did not.
4. You're throwing up walls. We've written in the past about the secrets healthy couples shouldn't keep. This is because, in order to fully commit to each other, you should also know each other pretty darn well. Holding back on emotions, or reliving painful events from the past in ways that affect your present, can keep a relationship stagnant. So ask yourself: what have you been keeping fom him, and why? Chances are, he can tell you're hiding something, and we're sure he'd rather hear about it than be stonewalled. 9 Secrets A Healthy Couple Shouldn't Keep
5. You're holding back from commitment. OK. So commitment-phobes are everywhere, and some of them aren't carrying an ounce of baggage. But in many cases, the fear of tying oneself down can be indicative of a deeper problem. If you're not giving any of your relationships half a chance, it's time to do some soul-searching. There's nothing wrong with being single, but is it what you really want? And if it's not, what's making you hesitate when you come across the possibility of love? If all else fails, consider talking to a therapist or a love/dating coach about burning that persnickety baggage. How Can I Find The Right Pro For Me?
In the end, it all comes down to trust. Want to leave that baggage behind? Allow yourself to trust again.