As Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren's divorce inches closer to becoming official, we've discovered that Elin will be walking away from the marriage with a whopping $750 million—one of the largest divorce settlements ever. (What does that come out to...$50M per mistress?) Of course, Tiger is getting something for his money: Elin's silence.
Per the settlement, Elin is not allowed to speak publicly about Tiger's affairs or the divorce. That means no tell-all book. But we wonder how long it will take Elin's lawyers to find a loophole that will allow her to tell her tale. Hopefully it happens soon because Gail O'Grady's not getting any younger, and clearly she would be the first choice to star in the Lifetime movie, Out of the Woods: The Elin Nordegren Story.
Another stipulation of the divorce is that Tiger is not allowed to bring any of his girlfriends around the couple's two children. In a move that's part protective mother/part scorned woman, Elin has insisted that the only time the kids are allowed to meet a woman of Tiger's is if he's actually married to her. Hopefully, this will prevent the children from being traumatized by a neverending train of skanks and famewhores whom they're forced to call "Auntie." Tiger Woods Is Dating Again
Scoop: Gawker. Photo: Reuters.