I'm Just Not That Into You

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Note: Don't forget to follow my personal blog, So about what I said...

I did it. I finally caved and gave in to the pop culture pressure of that ubiquitous book, He's Just Not That Into You. When I first bought it, I was SURE the author had me in mind when he came up with the title.

Why? Because I AM that girl. I am the girl who is sure, BEYOND A DOUBT, that the guy is madly in love with her. Never mind the signs - he doesn't look me in the eyes, he doesn't even know I exist, he has a girlfriend, he never chases me, he doesn't talk much, he has a girlfriend. Those aren't signs, I think. They're just pesky obstacles on my way to my very own Happily Ever After.

But we women aren't the only ones who need a relationship guide like that. I thought I'd share the wealth and give the men a little lesson in the idea that possibly, maybe, just maybe there's, oh, I don't know, a slight chance that WE'RE not that interested in THEM. The door swings both ways, boys, so listen up!

1. We're just not that into you if we don't act like a giggly dork around you at first.
The really special boys unhinge us, so if you've got that moxy, you'll know it by the way we act. Think a got-it-together, doesn't-care-about-you girl totally wants you? Wrong. She actually just doesn't care about you. At all.

2. We're just not that into you if we're mentally (and/or verbally) comparing you to our ex -- or George Clooney.
You're messier than our ex. You talk with your mouth open when you eat. You're not nearly as romantic (a night of bar-hopping on our birthday?). You're just....NOT HIM. Need I go on? And frankly, you never will be, so why would we want to waste our time with you? Think of it as our way of gently letting you down easy. You’ll thank us later. Trust me.

3. We're just not that into you if we don't make the first move.
Trust me, when we see something we want, we go for it. Have you ever seen a group of women pounce on a sale at Macy's or, in my case, a juicy bacon cheeseburger? We're all over it. It's a fight to the finish. So if you're the one we want, we'll pounce on you. Don't worry.

4. We're just not that into you if you are a bit too eager.
Eagerness can scream desperation sometimes, and desperation is on par with cheating. It's never an attractive quality. You'd be better off to play it cool. That's when we'll pounce to get your attention.

5. We're just not that into you if we don't call you.
The phrase, "Don't Call Us. We'll call you" is our way of saying, "Well, actually, we probably won't call you. We just wanted to let you down easy and not hurt your feelings too much." And since we KNOW too much eagerness is never an attractive quality, we'll wait maybe a little longer than the three-day rule. You know, inject some anticipation into the whole thing.

6. We're just not that into you if we don't scratch beyond the superficial in conversations.

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