Disability Misconceptions - Part I

Happy Monday, all! As usual, don't forget to follow my adventures on my blog, So about what I said...

I recently sat flipping through my old journals. I immediately stopped when I got to a particular entry. it was from sometime during my high school heyday and my teenage self matter-of-factly wrote something along the lines of:

Guys just don't like girls in wheelchairs. Or with any sort of disability, it seems.

It read back to me like some sort of socially agreed-upon law like the sort that easily rolls off your tongue (First Amendment, anyone?). It was, or at least in my eyes, the sort of social code everyone had memorized, and I probably (OK, I'm certain) didn't think twice when I wrote those words.

But hasn't that always been my whole problem? For most of my life, I've been living out that law in some form or another: I have trouble talking to guys because I know all they're looking at is my wheelchair. I think a guy will think I'm the craziest girl for having the audacity to flirt - or even ask him out on a date. I sometimes wonder if any man would ever, could ever love me. The fact is, quite sadly, I've never questioned it. Any of it. I've even become so concerned with how men can't seem to look past my disability that I've completely neglected that other equally important question: WHY? Isn't explaining the possible reasons behind something even more important than the actual something, whatever it may be?

So in an effort to gain some sort of genuine clarity on the whole situation, I've devised these 'working' theories. Silly boys, maybe this will explain some things for you...

They're ill-informed: No, I don't have cooties and no you can't catch it by being around me. I have a physical disability called Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome (Google it – I dare you). It's basically a bone and muscular disorder (I think walking and running is highly overrated anyway....). There actually aren't that many of us, so it's probably best to scoop us up now while supplies last. I've had 26 surgeries to correct bone and muscle deformities, and I just celebrated my 10-year-anniversary of NO SURGERIES; though, I've always fancied the idea of a guy sitting by my hospital bed and holding my hand. A teardrop for added effect is optional, of course.

They're intimidated: Even I'll admit that I can be a lot to take in at first, so maybe that's sort of scary for guys. I think a lot of times, people expect me, a pint-sized person to have a personality that matches: diminutive, reserved and soft-spoken. When - HELLO! - they realize that I'm the exact opposite, it may throw them off balance for a bit. And of course, I'm not going to sit here and pretend like my wheelchair is invisible. Trust me, I wish it were invisible and not me who's invisible. I won't pretend like my wheelchair doesn't make them uncomfortable, at least at first. Maybe they don't know what to say or maybe they're afraid they'll say the wrong thing. But FYI, men, JUST PLEASE SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING! I promise I won't break or bite. Really.

They assume I'm not interested: Maybe they see me, a girl who has been through her fair share of medical escapades, and figure I have bigger fish to fry.