Lawsuit Proves Chicago Couple Aren't Swingers

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adult couple on swingset
One couple is slandered by a busybody neighbor.

Hey. What happens between consenting adults behind closed doors is fine with you. You're not uptight! You did some crazy things in college, and you're no square! Still, there are some things you just don't want to see. Like swingers.

For the most part, people are pretty okay at minding their own business. But sometimes, there are things that—while we may be cool with them in theory—we don't exactly appreciate them when they're occurring in our own neighborhood. A case in point: according to the Norwalk Reflector, a woman in Wayne Campbell's hometown of Aurora, Illinois thought there was something a little jinky about her neighbors. And by "jinky," we mean that she thought her neighbors were involved in the world of swinging. The Suburban Swingers Club

 

She was so convinced that this couple was into some sort of sex swapping that she allegedly sent seemingly anonymous emails to neighbors and staff members warning them about their neighbors' proclivities. Evidently, that sort of thing is frowned upon in the Land Of Lincoln.

A judge, likely a fair man, awarded the impugned couple $54,000 for slander which, per Wikipedia, is the median income in Illinois. Generally, I'm against lawsuits in all but the most extreme cases, but as for this couple, well, I'm picturing her being played by Maggie Gyllenhaal and he by Patrick Wilson, with their children facing a stigmatized environment both professionally and socially. In fact, the Patrick Wilson parent in this case claims to have lost all of his computer consulting business over the flap.

What would you do if you thought your neighbors were swingers? (I know what I'd do, and it involves a bottle of champagne and massage oil.) Any tell-tale signs that your neighbors are into the lifestyle? Slander away!