Asked by YourTango on
impotence
my fiance seems so nervous when we get naked together and have sex. He seems disconnected from me. He likes to drink before sex to relax and this effects his ability to achieve and maintian an erection. he has told me that he likes to drink before because he thinks he dosnt last long enought and drinking helps this problem.?
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I agree with Veronica's method. It can be much hotter for men to watch his woman take the lead on his penis than be faced with the responsibility of her on her back, the classic position, and waiting to be satisfied. A good psychological twist. If you're on top though, running the show, it can be taxing for your thighs and you may get tired. I teach a technique where you can move and he can move inside you simultaneously that also makes it so you can make smaller movements and still have the same amount of penetration depth. Further, massage your clitoris if you can, or see at some point after doing this for a few times if he wants to. Clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration is very hot and reliably orgasmic for many women, depending on a few other factors. Once he has confidence here, he will organically move to take you. Try doggy style first before missionary. It's a hotter position visually for most men and can put them in a dominant-erotic mindset.
There's much more that I teach beyond this. I'd love to give you a consultation. I work via phone, skype, VoIP, and in person in NYC.
Eric Amaranth / www.ericamaranth.com
He could be sufferring from performance anxiety. Try informing him that alcohol is a depressant and as such will reduce blood flow to the penis. He is sabotaging his efforts to be a good lover.
He may be difficult to convince due to his anxiety about his performance so give him the night off! Tell him to relax and let you do all the work. Start with his ear lobes and neck, work down to his nipples and further south but do slow. Tease him at every step of the way and encourage him to breath deeply. When you are ready for intercourse, sit on top of him and slowly lower yourself down onto his penis. Only go about 3 to 4 inches down and then pull up again. Repeat this shallow penetration for as long as possible. Don't let him take control. The object of this is to show him how erotic sex can be when he doesn't have to worry about pleasing you and keeping it up. If he does have difficulty with his erection at any stage of your seduction, keep a sense of humor. You might even tell him to "try NOT to get hard." This often elicits a laugh because it is so unexpected. And laughter creates more blood flow to the penis.
How do I know this to be true? Because I have tested this technique on hundreds of men and it works! If you want to know more, feel free to contact me. As a Certified Sexologist and former Escort, this is my speciality!
Veronica Monet, ACS