What Men Think: 5 Ways Guys Get Over Breakups


couple breaking up angry sad in bed
Study shows men struggle to get over breakups more than women. What 5 guys think about breaking up.

2. When my girlfriend brought up the idea of breaking up—I was devastated. I was a wreck, so I took action and did all I could—lots of pleading—to convince her that we shouldn't part ways. Clearly, it worked—now she's my wife. Be an insider. Get the YourTango newsletter. Delivered daily.   

- Kevin Osgood, YourTango video producer


3. Dealing with a breakup used to be the usual method: finding a rebound as quickly as possible, to not appear to be upset. Guy friends just don't want to hear your tales of woe, so you'd better get over it or else they stop wanting to hang out. So, it was all about postponing the actual dealing with it indefinitely, which just makes it messier because you've dragged someone else [the rebound] into your jam. That's a problem I only recognized as I got older and had been someone else's rebound. My ever-growing base of female friends have ensured a much smoother transition back into the dating pool in recent years. They're going to ask, you're going to delve, you might as well get it over with and unburden yourself. Plus, as a writer, it's easier to unleash my emotions on the world than it may be for the average male.

- Brian Fairbanks, writer/blogger, @BrianFair

4. My immediate reaction to a breakup is anger. I need to vent, generally to my younger brother, who never takes my side. It's good to have someone tell me to shut up when I'm hurting, but then I morph into silent man mode and can keep hurt bottled up for months.

- Royal Young, freelance writer, @royalyoung

5. I've had three really tough breakups. My first real experience with a breakup was in fifth grade. Amy Solomon dumped me at a dance party (Aaron [best friend and co-founder of HowAboutWe.com] and I used to organize them back in the day), and I did a 10-minute wall sit (an exercise that leads to extreme pain in the thighs). All the boys thought it was hilarious and I got lots of props for not getting sappy. Then in 12th grade, the love of my life broke up with me. I remember saying, "I think I might throw up," and I really felt that way. The last time I got broken up with, I cried some and my girlfriend said, "Oh, you really did love me!" We laughed and pretty soon I felt fine.

- Brian Schechter, co-founder of HowAboutWe, @HowAboutWe

For those of us who've wondered if men hurt as much as we do after a split, there we have it.

Tell us, readers, how do you cope after a breakup? And follow us on Twitter while you're at it!

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