Would You Compromise Who You Are For a Mate?


Would You Compromise Who You Are For a Mate?



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Name: Navygirl | | Location: Brooklyn , New York
|Question: My girlfriend and I noticed something interesting about men
approaching us. She's early 40s, I'm a female mid 30s.

On the rare times,
when we are casual and dressed down (to the point, where we feel we look a hot
mess) men approach us and ask us out.

When we are 'dolled up' and dressy,
no one approaches us. They look, whistle, smile, etc.. but no one approaches. We
smile, our body language is relaxed and open and still no one

We asked platonic male friends some reasons as to why this
is, they listed the following
1. Dolled up, means we are high
2. We like to party and club
3. We have no intelligence
We are stuck up
5. When you look 'hot' you are only good for one thing

Basically, dressed down women are low maintenance, girlfriend and
wife material.

So my question to the men...if being 'dolled up' is
being ourselves, but at the same time, no one is approaching us, do we need to
compromise who we are to make it easier for guys to approach us??  |Age: 47

To start with, I don't believe for a moment that men are intimidated
or thrown by a well put together and polished/sexy looking woman.
Unless you're running around in your bra and sneakers, men are not
judging your clothes. Of course, there's a line. If you have a plunging
neckline with heaving breasts and a micro skirt, you're going to make a
certain impression. And not "she's looking to get laid" More like, "she
needs a lot of attention."  If you're heavily made up, men aren't going
to be intimidated by you're beauty. They'll be wondering what you're
hiding. And if all of your clothes are designer (and the only way a man
would know this is if you tell him) he'll wonder if you'll expect him
to bankroll your label addiction. These are the things men wonder. They
are not, I repeat NOT, intimidated by a well put together, fashionable
woman who can buy herself nice things. Men don't judge women based on
what they wear. Men base their opinions, their final ones, on what she
says and how she acts. Once she opens her mouth, the men aren't really
looking at her outfit.

Moving on...

A number of questions spring to mind after reading this.

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