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Name: fire_sign | | Location: Baltimore , MD.
|Question: Is honesty always the best policy?
I'm 47, but I look much younger
and I find that the men that catch my eye are younger too (and no I'm talking
cougar here), just in the neighborhood of 5 or so years younger. Now I'm not
the type to lie about my age, but I've come to realize that those younger guys
that might actually be interested in meeting me, never see my dating profile
because my age automatically omits me from their searches. So I can't help but
wonder, would lowering my age in my profile be such a bad thing?
were a mutual interest, I would certainly be up front about it right away, but
I'm really having a hard time dealing with this dilemma. What's an old girl
trapped in a young girls body to do? |Age: 47
Personally, I don't have a problem with lowering your age a bit (no
more than 5 years) to be included in searches. I think they best way to
do this is to change the age on your profile settings, but to put a
disclaimer right at the top of the body of your profile stating your
Now, let's say this isn't how you choose to do it. Fine. The question then becomes, "How and when do I tell them my real age?"
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Some people choose to do it in the email exchanges. They hope that,
once the person "gets to know them" (as much as you can get to know
someone via email), then they won't care how old they are.
Others wait until the date itself. Listen, lots of people fudge on
their resume a bit. This is kind of the same thing. You just want to
get to the interview so you can wow them. But revealing the truth?
That's the tricky part. The longer you go without telling someone, the
more you risk looking like you were intentionally trying to mislead
them or waste their time. It's not fair to allow someone to believe
something, especially when they're spending their time and money on you.
The worst is when you've met someone and set up a date, but never
discussed age. I've had this happen twice in the past few months. We
met at a party or a bar, we went for dinner and drinks, and the whole
time I'm wondering two things: how old are they and how old do they
think I am? I'm 41, an age where I think it's only fair to be up front
about it right away. If a man in his late thirties is looking to have
kids, I'm probably not the ideal candidate for him. (That's another
point. What if you don't want kids? How soon do you tell a prospective
candidate?) Everybody, I think, has a 3-5 year range in which they
could easily fit. Meaning a 39 year old could say they're 37 and nobody
would know. Yet those two years make a HUGE difference when it comes to