Plus, being combative is, well...hot. Having passion and chemistry with someone who's your ideological opposite is confusing and exciting, and definitely made me evaluate my inner contradictions. And sometimes, where sex is concerned, politics are beside the point. Especially if you spend your days talking and writing about politics, like me, those debate-free moments are downright refreshing. Political discussions can be truly draining, and sex can be the perfect mental vacation.
Of course, having a hot-sex affair with someone and marrying them are two different things. Given that Dave's and my not-quite-relationship only lasted two months, I can't speak to the staying power of this dynamic (although it's worked out for the Bushes, who have been married for more than 30 years). I also have my steadfast bottom lines; for instance, I'd never be with anyone who had misogynist attitudes about women's roles, in bed or otherwise. The same goes for racist, classist, and other prejudiced attitudes. Regardless of whom you vote for, there are some issues that are gonna be dealbreakers for your relationship. The Frisky: I Pretended We Were Right For Each Other
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Still, as Jaclyn Friedman [so eloquently said a few months ago on The Sexist, "If I had a hardcore litmus test [for guys I date] …I would never get laid again." Having flexibility and openness in a relationship, whether it's serious or not, is productive and, for those of us who hover around the extremes of the spectrum, practically a must. For me, being forced to justify my principles sharpened my own nebulous ideas, galvanized me to act on what was important to me—and provided some seriously awesome sex in the process.
Written by Nona Willis Aronowitz for The Frisky