My Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

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handheld mirror
One woman realizes that image is arbitrary, and true beauty is simply who she is.

After a year of indecision, I was able to leave him. The relief and freedom gave me new energy, and I dated up a storm. These guys actually wanted me! They appreciated my attributes. I had to beat them off with a stick.  The Frisky: How A Breakup Boosted My Confidence

But soon I went from unfulfilled wife to f**k buddy and booty call. What the hell? Couldn’t I have commitment and steamy sex? Were the two mutually exclusive?

Lonely, I held onto my skinniness like a security blanket. At least that was something I could control. I could jog up to 10 miles now, and eat almost anything I wanted. I admired my calves, delts, and flat tummy. If anything went wrong in my life, I'd think, At least I'm skinny.

Then I met Alex. With his shaved head and goatee, he kind of looked like an ex-con, but he had a sweet smile. He was an awesome kisser. Funny and smart. Nice but no wimp. And he had a butt you could bounce quarters off of.

Wait a month before sleeping him, I told myself. Get to know him better.

I waited one week. Then I waited for him to drop me, for the calls to peter out and disappear. They didn't. Suddenly I was his girlfriend; we were moving in together. We were naming our future kids.

I started spending less time at the gym and more with Alex. I ate more—sumptuous brunches on the weekends, crepes after midnight, gelato on long walks. I relaxed and didn't think about my appearance. Then, when I wasn't looking, I gained 10 pounds. Not only that, I had new wrinkles and freckles. Extra grays in my hair. Remember the lost baby fat from my cheekbones? It's settled firmly on either side of my mouth. The Frisky: The 6 Biggest Mythconceptions About Being In Love

I wasn't hot anymore.

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