The activities at these parties were more mild than the ones that were focused on blowing off steam, and many included party games that focused on all the things that the newly divorced woman could do now that her ex was out of the picture. Many of the new divorcees were worried about being lonely during the weekends and holidays that they would be spending without their kids, and knowing that they had the support of their friends was a tremendous comfort to them. They desperately needed this support so that they could view this part of their life as a new beginning rather than just an ending.
Show of Solidarity - It is not common for the ex and his friends and family to be part of the divorce party, but it is not unheard of either. We started calling the parties that had both exes in attendance "the solidarity party." The purpose of these parties was to show everyone that the ex husband and wife were going to remain on
friendly terms and that friends and family didn’t need to choose whether
they were going to ally themselves with him or with her.
Unfortunately, stories of these types of parties were rather rare, which is likely because a truly amicable divorce is fairly rare. All of the parties in this category were thrown by couples with children, and their children appeared to be the driving force behind their desire to have this show of solidarity. They wanted the children to feel that their relationship with their parents would remain the same even though mom and dad were no longer living together. One women even told us the she and her ex wrote “divorce vows” where they promised that they would not speak badly about each other or make major parenting decisions without consulting one another.
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So if you are considering throwing a divorce party, you are likely to have one of these top three reasons in mind. Despite the stereotype of bitter women who just can't wait to engage in some good old fashioned male bashing, there are good reasons to throw a divorce party that have nothing to do with dwelling on how bad life was with your ex. If you feel that a divorce party will help you move forward after your divorce, then you should go ahead and throw the type of party that best reflects what you want most out of your post divorce life.
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*Take a listen to our exclusive Divorce Party Song to learn the melody and lyrics for when it's time to cut that divorce party cake.