Well, this is a fine mess the Duchess of York has gotten herself into. Sarah Ferguson, recently caught trying to get £500,000 in exchange for access to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, now says she'd like to learn to tango on Dancing With the Stars because it would amuse her daughters. Ah, Fergie. That's ridiculous. Dancing With the Stars is for famous people, like Nicole Scherzinger and Jake Pavelka.
In the wake of her rather embarrassing bribery scandal, Sarah is rumored to be considering a move to the United States. Although she's had business interests in the U.S. since her 1996 divorce from Prince Andrew—in addition to writing books and making commercials for Weight Watchers, she's the author of a number of children's books and this morning addressed the trade show Book Expo America in New York—the Duchess has always lived in London. Sharing A Bed With My Ex
In fact she still lives at Andrew's residence, which is near the Queen's weekend home, Windsor Castle (as opposed to our weekend home, the couch in the living room). The New York Post reported yesterday that Fergie's plans to move have panicked the royal family since she knows all their filthy secrets, like the orgies they have in piles of cake. The paper said that if she lives in England, the royals can still control her. You know what helps with controlling people? Cash. 5 Reasons To Date A British Guy
We find the Duchess's reality show ambitions kind of hilarious, actually. The woman is actual royalty, even though she's no longer married to the man fourth in line for the British throne. But she's been divorced for fourteen years; isn't the period in her life when she could stamp her foot and shout "I want a pony!" and someone would make that happen, well, over?
Apparently not: A source who has worked with Sarah on charity projects tells the Post, "She's the type of person who lives for freebies. She is a diva and expects everything to be for free—first-class travel, chauffeured cars, and residences." Sounds like she's perfect for reality TV. Maybe she can show up on the Real Housewives of Wherever the Eff and show that countess person what actual royalty does—beg, borrow, cheat. Classily, of course. New Rumors Of Engagement Surfacing For British Royals
Via The New York Daily News. Photo via Bauer-Griffin.