He can't seem to orient himself in a family way

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He can't seem to orient himself in a family way


Dear Dr. Romance:

I purchased your book, The Commuter Marriage and am reading it with keen interest.  I am not sure if the following scenario is covered in your book:

Commuter Marriage cover 

My husband has been commuting to the Mideast for over a year. In the beginning he would be there for 4 - 6 weeks and come home for a similar duration.  The company he works for is based in the country, where we live.  So basically he is working in both countries.  Since the beginning of this year, he has gone over to the Mideast for 3 months, returns home for 3- 6 weeks, and then the cycle repeats itself.  After his first 3 months being away, we had a five day timeshare holiday opportunity given to us as a gift by my mother.  It took him two days of deliberation to decide whether he could take the time off or not and told me that I was placing him in a difficult situation regarding his commitments to his work.  This made me angry because his company takes him away from his home and family for 3 months and he cannot even give us 5 days.

He is in his mid-forties, has bought a motorbike to make commuting to work over there easier and more cost efficient, but has also joined a bike group and socializes with them every Friday morning before going to work.  Two days before he was due to leave this last time, he came home sporting a huge tattoo on his arm.  I have been having the ugliest fights with him on email for the last three months.  It would seem that he is going through a midlife crisis too and has admitted that he has failed in communicating with me.

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