My pal Stella* is going through a terrible breakup with a horrible man. Like most of us, Stella knows how to deal with their split (time, wine, chocolate, more wine, more time), but she was concerned about the bigger picture. Why had she gotten herself mixed up with this jackass in the first place? Or the moron before him? Or the cad prior to that one? The Frisky: A Guy Will Tell You What’s Wrong With Him In The First Hour
Being a sensible lady, Stella called her old therapist in order to get some perspective and guidance. Surely a licensed professional would have some clue.
Sure enough, she did. After giving my friend a dose of very tough love, Ms. Shrinky Dink gave her a list of questions to ask the next man she considers dating. According to the good doctor, the answers will tell her everything she needs to know before going on a second date.
What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? How did you recover?
If he's not over the worst thing that ever happened to him, that's a big red flag—especially if it was a past romantic liaison. (He gets a pass if it was something truly ghastly, like his whole family dying in a plane crash.) Then again, if his personal worst was something mind-numbingly stupid—like getting cut from the JV soccer team—you might want to keep walking because boyfriend is seriously lacking in perspective or living a charmed life. Both are equally annoying. The Frisky: 23 Secrets You Shouldn’t Tell Your Girlfriend
What do you like to do when you're not working?
If he gives you a blank stare because he's always working, you're probably not going to see much of him anyway, so why bother? Ditto the dude who never works: two sides of the same crap card.
Another item to consider is that if you're an outdoorsy type and his answer entails sitting in a damp basement playing World of Warcraft with several hundred virtual friends, you're probably not going to have much in common. Your interests don't have to mirror each other's, but it's a good thing if they at least reside on the same planet.
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