How To Get Pregnant When Your Sex Life Is Sub-Par

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unhappy couple in bed
It's tough to get pregnant when you struggle with a challenging sex life.

So I've had years of therapy. I've used gallons of lube. I've gotten an ultrasound in order to determine whether my pain was physical or psychological. I've then questioned the results of that clean-bill-of-health ultrasound upon learning that pain during intercourse has been linked to chronic fatigue syndrome (which I have). I even became a sex writer, delving into the world of vibrators, exhibitionism and sexual experimentation as a means of self-medicating. Sex still hurts. And now, with both of us wanting to become parents, I have to have it anyway.

Pre- or post-kids, if you're experiencing similar problems with your sex life, for the love of god, address the issue. Together. Because, at this point, it's not just a personal problem. It's a couple problem. What can you try?

Communicate. Be open with your partner about what you're experiencing, and how it makes you feel. Talk about the pain. The guilt. The frustration. And hear him out, too. Because it affects him, as well. Once you're both on the same page, you can tackle the issue together.

Try some no-pressure intimacy. Sex play does not have to be about intercourse alone. If you're feeling too much pressure to enjoy intercourse, go back to basics. Revisit the excitement the two of you once experienced during your courtship, when it was all about hours-long makeout sessions, dry humping and heavy petting. Concentrate on touch, and explore which types of touch feel best. Concentrate on your pleasure, rather than worrying about the pain that typically comes later. Swear off intercourse for awhile in order to eliminate the stress from your sex play, and allow yourselves to regain that initial sense of intimacy and lust.

Use lube. Or a new sex position. Or a new toy. Sometimes, being open to trying something new can work wonders. How Yoga May Be The Answer To Better Sex

Go see your gynecologist. It may be that the problems you're experiencing are due to some sort of physical condition, that can easily be remedied by the miracles of modern science. Such possible sexual dysfunctions include low sexual desire, sexual aversion or arousal disorder, dyspareunia or vaginismus.

Go see your shrink. And bring your partner with you. After all, as I mentioned above, this is a problem you should be working through together. A sex therapist may be able to uncover the roots of your problem, and/or give the two of you sexual exercises that could get things back on track. Marriage & Relationship Educators: Who We Are & What We Do

Become a sex writer. Just kidding!

Readers, any advice for getting a waning sex life back on track?

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