I could never go back to the life I had before when half of my self was shut away in a drawer somewhere. But I'm not sure I could have done things completely differently either.
There are good reasons our children were in our bedroom. Babies need to eat at night to grow and thrive, and many children continue to wake up at night for years. Sleeping with your little ones is easier. You don't have to wake up and walk to another room to feed them. You don't have to go to their bedroom and help them fall back asleep. In fact, preschoolers may have fewer nightmares in the first place.
More from YourTango: Are Your Kids' Friends A Bad Influence?
And yet I could not do it over again. There were good reasons my children were in my bedroom, good reasons for them and good reasons for me—but not good enough now that I remember what I was missing. Don't Let Kids Ruin Your Sex Life
My advice for a young woman about to be a mother? Don't drift into forgetting what it's like to be free and sexual, like I did. If you find you're still not having much sex after the first six months, consider making some changes. Get more sleep, plan time alone with your husband, set up a place for sex in the living room. And if you have to, try moving your little ones out of your bedroom as soon as they are old enough.
I wish I'd understood earlier that it's okay if you need to move your children out of your bedroom. We're adults, we need sex. In fact, we deserve it. Besides, sex makes us kinder, happier, less neurotic people. It builds and strengthens our love for each other. And in the end, a love affair with your husband is a good thing for everyone.