6 Reasons To Put Love Before Your Career

By

man at a computer
One man's take on having it all: career, love, family, and success.

3. Marriage won't distract you
The main issue I have with Bowe's perspective is the idea that a dream would have to be shoved aside to let someone else join the team. If a marriage involving a creative person is going to work, both partners need to support—not hinder—each other. The couples whose dreams of glory fall by the wayside are probably made up of people who would have given up sooner or later anyway.

As for Bowe's worry that marriage equals having kids, who are obviously going to greatly diminish your "me" time, I've found that ambitious people tend to find a way to get things done between diapers or parent-teacher conferences; they're going to make it no matter what "gets in the way." Why I Chose To Be Unmarried And Childless

4. There's a reason "richer or poorer" is in those marriage vows
Considering the stiff competition and difficulty of having long-term success in artistic careers, it's good to remember that, like many of the best things in life, love isn't about money. It's about sticking with people, regardless of whether they ever make it, and being grateful that at least you're together and working through it.

5. Do we really have a choice?
Bowe says he recently fell in love for the first time in 15 years. I want to know: Would he have changed his views on love vs. career if he had met someone undeniably special along the way, or if he hadn't lucked into love now that he's decided he's ready?

To look at it another way, everyone falls into a Jennifer Aniston-sized love rut once in a while, and that is the time to focus on other things like family, the debt situation, and maybe changing jobs or cities. But to give up entirely on dating and focusing only on the career until you're 45—is that even possible?  Love doesn't care if you're working on a novel or done with a screenplay and now looking for love. You can't force it, so there's no point in saying, "I'm just going to pretend not to have feelings until I'm well-established."

6. Long-term outlook
I agree with Bowe that it's extremely difficult to create a career as an artist with kids—especially without the dough to go out and schmooze while Mary Poppins does the tutoring. In fact, it's hard enough to make a living as a writer being single and not dating at all. But even if he's right, if being alone does make it easier—is that what we really want? To wake up at 45 with successful careers after ten or twenty years of being alone? I, for one, would rather strive for balance. And then if I do achieve success, there will be someone there to celebrate with.

PARTNER POSTS