Why I Chose To Be Unmarried And Childless


woman alone outside enjoying breakfast
Unmarried and childless, but not alone. Why one woman chose to forgo marriage and kids.

Finally, I've always had this burning question: what's the point of getting married? By my teens, almost all of my friends' parents were divorced (one was on her fourth marriage). By my mid-40s, most of my contemporaries have been married and divorced at least once. It has always seemed silly to promise forever when it's just not reality. Very little in life lasts forever. That's not bitterness; that's sheer pragmatism. What's wrong with serial monogamy without the legalities? I've seen too many messy divorces. Isn't it better to give or not give what one chooses to in a relationship, both during and after it's over, than to have the law tell you what you "owe?" I think so. How An Unhappy Marriage Can Damage Your Health

I've been accused of all sorts of things—being afraid of commitment and being an "unnatural woman" for not wanting kids, to name two. But some of my long-term relationships have lasted longer than many marriages, and at least I haven't irrevocably damaged a kid's life by not being up to the task. And I hate it when people ask me who's going to take care of me when I'm old, and if I want to die alone. Statistically, women outlive men, and it doesn't seem fair (or necessary) to me to have kids just so they will care for you in your dotage.


I regret very few decisions I've made in life and don't regret remaining childless.

As for marriage, while it's never been on the list of things I felt I had to do in life, I've never ruled it out completely. But I'm not alone and never have been. I've always had the love and companionship of friends and family, and I usually have a sweetheart in my life as well. While I'm pretty sure I can't promise forever to a man in terms of marriage, maybe when I'm 70, forever won't be so daunting, and I'll walk down the aisle for the first and only time.

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