No-Nonsense Divorce Advice

divorce broken frame
Love, Heartbreak

Financial woes? Restless? Adult child of divorce? Read on.

My Answer: You must feel terribly alone. There are all kinds of resources for young children of divorce, but adult children are pretty much ignored. I suggest you pick up a copy of Brooke Lea Foster's The Way They Were: Dealing with Your Parents’ Divorce After a Lifetime of Marriage. This author understands what you're going through, and you'll find a lot of comfort in her words. All of you older women who are considering divorce because "the children are grown" should take a close look at the above question and read that book as well. You need to be aware that divorce can be just as devastating to grown children as to small children—even worse because their feelings are not taken into account. Remember that Robert Frost quote—"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." Well, for adult children of divorce, especially young people in their 20s who are just moving out of the nest, there's no safe place anymore, and they feel no one has to take them in. That can be very rough, and even cause breakdowns and suicide attempts. Keep in mind that even if you're ready to move on, your grown kids may not be. Be as understanding and supportive as possible. Take care of them; don't expect them to take care of you.

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