Marriage And Multiples: Surviving 3 Sets Of Twins


kids on monkey bars
A writer with three sets of twins describes how having multiples affected her marriage.

On occasion, I found myself thinking back to the days when it was just the two of us. We had less stress and pressure, had a whole lot more sleep, and a whole lot more sex! But then I'd realize that we were still happy, and that I wouldn't want to change a thing about our lives. As for finding time for lovemaking… honestly, stealing away when the children are engrossed in a Disney movie gives way to the suspense of potentially being "caught," which only makes our spontaneous encounters all the more exciting—and sometimes funny. Why Married Women Envy Single Women

Once, one of our daughters walked in on us when Bruce had just gotten home from work. We had run off to our bedroom while the children were playing across the house in one of their bedrooms. Suddenly, the hall light streamed into our room, and we realized we were not alone! Bruce quickly told our daughter, "Honey, while Daddy was taking off his work clothes to put on his play clothes, he tripped and fell on Mommy who was sitting on the edge of the bed." Our little girl, then 5, simply asked when dinner was. I told her "soon," and she just turned around and left our doorway. Bruce and I burst into uncontrollable laughter.


Fast forward again to the spring of 2007, when we learned that I was pregnant again. We were completely surprised that I'd actually become pregnant again, but even more stunned to discover that we were, in fact, having our third set of twins. So, after another difficult pregnancy, our two youngest sons were born. We now had a girl/girl, a boy/girl, and a boy/boy—every conceivable twin combination.

This time around, however, I felt more than exhausted, more than emotional, more than overwhelmed; I was experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression. Several weeks went by as I tried to come out of it by myself. I woke in the night between breast feedings only to sob over the many challenges we were all facing. Bruce realized it was time to be leaned on yet again, and he stepped up. He supported me in all ways, including my decision to pursue help. And with time, patience and our matured mutual trust, love, respect, humor and faith in God, we got through another difficult challenge. 

Today, our kids are 15, 10 and 2. We're dealing with potty-ed and driver's ed at the same time, and everyone is always going in different directions. Bruce and I are closer now than ever, having made it through so much together, and we cherish our quiet time alone.

As we have awesome, built-in babysitters, we often go out for a bite to eat and a walk on the beach (with our cell phones close at hand) so that we can talk, plan and enjoy each other's company, as we always have. We also take time in the midst of the chaos to steal a quick embrace in the kitchen during dinner prep, at which point we often hear the kids say, "Ooooooh, Mommy and Daddy loooove each other!" I think this is a healthy example for our children to see. (Of course, they also know that we don't always agree, because no two people always agree.)

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