Marriage And Multiples: Surviving 3 Sets Of Twins

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kids on monkey bars
A writer with three sets of twins describes how having multiples affected her marriage.

If someone had told me when I was 25 years old that one day my husband and I would be parents to three sets of twins, I would have laughed out loud. At the time—it was 1988— my husband Bruce and I had been married about three years. We were very much in love, building our relationship upon mutual trust, love, respect, humor and faith in God. We also had a very active, healthy and happy sex life, but we hadn't yet decided it was time to start our family. Newlywed Sex Tips (We All Can Use)

Some years later, we thought we were ready, and after several attempts at conceiving, we finally discovered that I was pregnant. What we didn't expect (or plan for) was the news that we would be having twin baby girls.

They say that having a baby changes everything—and they're right. For us the changes were multiplied by two (at least). Having never had one baby, we were suddenly the parents of two screaming, needy, demanding, exhausting little human beings who didn't have any concern or regard for the fact that neither of their parents had slept or showered in days—or had even remembered to brush their teeth.

The first year following our daughters' births was chaos. At times, I'd look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. I'd gone from a 34B bra size to a 38DD—sounds nice, except that I was twenty pounds overweight and didn't feel like myself at all. I'd evolved from a slender, sharp-dressed career woman to a mommy who wore "comfortable" clothes and no longer bothered with contact lenses. Male Take: Why Men Love Breasts

By the time our girls were six months old, I knew the time had come to focus on weight loss, even though my husband, Bruce, insisted that motherhood agreed with me, and that I was very sexy. I suspected he wasn't telling the whole truth.

In 1999, I became pregnant again… with triplets. This was NOT the plan, but do things ever play out as planned? Bruce and I did our best to wrap our brains around the reality of what we were facing, but I still I fell apart many times in the early days of my pregnancy. Bruce would sometimes find me sobbing on the couch, and he would assure me we'd get through it. My daughters, then four, would also bring me back to reality, reminding me that I didn't have the time to cry and pity myself. I had to go on and care for my family.

Ultimately, we lost one of the babies at the end of my first trimester, but went on to deliver the other two healthily. And with two sets of twins, life was, to say the least, busy. Some days were so chaotic and tiring that one of us would sometimes find the other asleep in our daughters' room following an attempt to settle them down, or we'd take turns sleeping in our guest room while the other was up all night with a screaming baby.

I thanked God every day that Bruce had such an even temperament, and that he was the hands-on dad that he still is today. Emotionally, I was all over the chart (especially during the early months following the babies' births), but I knew that I could lean on Bruce because of his constant support, laughter and commitment to our family.

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