It's a rarity that we get to link to Vanity Fair if it's not about some insidious bit of celebrity scandal. But this time around we get something a little more fun. Recently an Iranian cleric declared that earthquakes can be, in some part, attributed to immodest female dress (AKA cleavage, mid-drift and rouge). While some people know that this is unlikely, as only immodest dancing can cause earthquakes, others feel that the Persian killjoy really overstepped his bounds. The solution, obviously, was to put him in his place by having women all wear whatever they damn well pleased as long as it was sexy. Read: 5 Cardinal Fashion Rules According To Men
A lady called Jen McCreight (BlagHag.com) campaigned for women to dress in something revealing to test, once and for all, if the sexy parts of the female body really had power over plate tectonics. So, Monday the 26th of April became Boobquake. Women interested in sticking it to the old Ayatollah were implored to wear low-cut tops, high-cut skirts or shorts. Years ago a brassiere might have been burned to teach a fellow a lesson about the power of women; now the lifting and separating power of that brassiere is the key to making that point (though, technically this social disobedience is trying to prove women can't do something. And yes, I realize that very few bras were actually ever burned).
Back to Vanity Fair. According to the illustrious publication, in the wee hours of Boobquake a magnitude 6.5 earthquake hit Taiwan. My knowledge of Taiwanese modesty and, frankly, the shape of the Taiwanese women I've met makes me think it merely coincidence. We'll see in the coming weeks if Boobquake managed to shift Earth off its axis. Either way, I'm pretty sure that lower back tattoos on women cause adult illiteracy.
What else are women unwittingly doing to ruin the Earth/society?