Just like celebrity deaths come in waves (hello, summer of 2009!), so do celebrity breakups. And so far April 2010 has been a graveyard for partnered-up famous people. Join us for a review of all these blissful love affairs gone to crap.
Larry & Shawn King
The longtime CNN king and his seventh wife were together for thirteen years and two kids before filing for divorce this week. He says she had an affair with their sons' baseball coach; she says he's been diddling her sister. We just want Anderson Cooper to have to report this story, or maybe discuss it with Kelly Ripa the way he talks about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. GIRL. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT LARRY?! No Prenup! Larry King, What Were You Thinking?
Melissa & Tammy Etheridge
This breakup actually makes us quite sad. Melissa and Tammy have been together since 2003 and Tammy gave birth to twins in 2006; they also have two older children from Melissa's previous relationship. Their marriage certainly lived up to the vows: they were together in sickness, when Melissa battled breast cancer, and in health, when she recovered and became even more awesome. And now they're divorcing...except we're not sure if they'll need to. The pair had a commitment ceremony in Malibu in 2003, then, when gay marriage was declared legal in California in 2008, expressed their desire to have another wedding. Then Prop 8 happened, and we're not sure if they ever put it down on paper. Of course, gay divorce is also now illegal. So that's a nice little Gordian knot of confusion.
Mel Gibson & Oksana Grigorieva
Oh, Mel. Did he call her "sugart*ts" in Russian? The erstwhile Braveheart left his wife of 30 years (and the mother of his seven older children) when he knocked up singer Oksana, who has a son from her previous relationship with former James Bond Timothy Dalton. (Yes, you might need a chart for this.) She gave birth to a daughter, Lucia, in October, and then this month a source says Mel and Oksana "just drifted apart. Gosh, we can't imagine why; they seemed so compatible. Maybe it was when he tried to baptize the baby with fire, just like Jesus told him to.